i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
