I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
