dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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