I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
