so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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