So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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