I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
