Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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