Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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