Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
