i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
