whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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