we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
