Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
