May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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