yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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