Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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