That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
