We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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