Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
