Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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