i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
