oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
