why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
