I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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