Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
