I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
