Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
