last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize