Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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