wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize