Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
