I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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