he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
