It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
