You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
