i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
