i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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