brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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