he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
