Pappa wants mamma naked
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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