i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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