that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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