i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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