I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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