i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
