I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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