Your mouth is God's brothel.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just pee around me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
