I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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