Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Damn victory sex feels great
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