Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
