i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You dont lie about slip and slides
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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