I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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