her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ketchup is God's man juice
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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