That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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