i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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