Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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