i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
