can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
