yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
