Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
