So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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