my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
