So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
