haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
